Parody of “Golden Eyes”, words by
Mercedes Lackey
, music by
Leslie Fish
For
more information
and other parodies, see
www.songworm.com
Parody lyrics ©2026-02-22 by Bob Kanefsky. All rights reserved. The copyright of the original lyrics and music remain with the holder(s) of the original copyright.
"'I never thought leopards would eat MY face,' sobs woman who voted for the Leopards Eating People's Faces Party.” — viral tweet on October 16th, 2015
“A tax on every cat food can.
For hunting birds, a hefty fine.
Opponents want to muzzle cats.
We promise to let them feast.”
This the claim and this the whine
That makes her toe the party line.
Their leopards-eating-faces tweets
Don’t faze her in the least.
Without a second thought, she votes,
And on Election Night, she gloats.
The Eating-People’s-Faces Party’s
Half a point ahead.
They start work like torpedo boats.
As every TV pundit notes,
They clearly won a mandate
To do just what they said.
The Leopard Eating Faces Act
The people asked for with their votes
Fulfills a solemn promise made
Upon the campaign trail.
She pays no mind to anecdotes
Of leopards at her neighbors’ throats.
That cat food rebate will be great.
They said it’s in the mail.
But what is this? To her amaze,
The price keeps rising anyway.
And quietly something large and lithe
Is prowling around her place.
She hears it in the alleyway.
She knows now she was led astray.
To summarize: To her surprise.
A leopard eats her face.
The voter has been interviewed
On all the talk shows late at night
About her leopard-eaten face,
A sight none will forget.
“I never thought it’s me they’d bite!
That must have been an oversight.
Since either side has always lied
They seemed the better bet.”