Uptown-type Worlds

Parody of “Uptown Girl”, words and music by Billy Joel

For more information and other parodies, see www.songworm.com
Parody lyrics ©2025-08-26 by Bob Kanefsky. All rights reserved. The copyright of the original lyrics and music remain with the holder(s) of the original copyright.

A Joel / Dean mashup (“Uptown Girl” tune and structure, sticking closely to “Earth-type Worlds” lyrics)

Earth-type worlds
May be hidden in galactic swirls.
So many parsecs out from you and I,
We’ll never see them in our white-light sky.

We’ve gotta try to find Earth-type worlds
Much more distant than the probes we’ve hurled
As far as anyone with rockets can
So now we’re looking for a spectrogram
Now that we can.

Chorus: We sent some rovers,
Those slow-moving cars.
Collecting ample
Core samples on Mars.

We’ll see we’re not so rare
Just because
Way out there may be Earth-type worlds.

You know that solar sails are big unfurled.
And though we can’t afford a starship yet,
Could we make more creative use of debt,
Or win a bet?

Chorus: Will some advances
Enhance what is known?
What are the chances
We’re not here alone?

We’ll find we’re not so rare
Once we find,
Way out there,
Countless Earth-type worlds.

More likely jellyfish than boys and girls.
And not all carbon-based like you and I.
Will we discover them before we die?
Not gonna lie. 

Earth-type worlds.
There are Earth-type worlds!
We’ll know by discovering
More Earth-type worlds,
More Earth-type worlds.
We’ll know by discovering
More Earth-type worlds,
More Earth-type worlds.