Parody of “American Pie”, words and music by
Don McLean
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Parody lyrics ©2026-08-11 by Bob Kanefsky. All rights reserved. The copyright of the original lyrics and music remain with the holder(s) of the original copyright.
Performer note: In general I tell people “sing it like the original because that’s what I had in my head”, often one particular recording, and often verse by verse. But that rule of thumb doesn’t apply to every line in this particular parody. It probably won’t work to sing “fill your tank” with the rising inflection of “sweet perfume” or “gigawatts” like “falling fast”. (By the way, in the movie they prounce is “jiga-whats”, and same in the stage production I saw, as I recall. But dictionaries show only the hard-G pronunciation, and gigabytes and gigaHertz are now everyday consumer-electronics terms and prounounced as the dictionary describes, so it’s a tough call. I don’t care, as the lyric writer; since there’s no alliteration involved I take no position on how that word is sung.)
A long long time ago —
Something takes me back there —
Where I brought back a whole music style.
And I knew, when I met my mom,
My dad would take her to the prom,
Get married, and have children in a while.
But paradoxes made me shiver,
No longer sure if she’d deliver.
Bad news in the photo.
I couldn’t feel my own toes.
I don’t know if she’d feel depressed
If she knew about her empty nest.
That heavy prospect had me stressed.
The day the future died.
So
| Chorus: |
Retry what made things go awry. Get the power from the tower when the voltage is high. And leave a folded note that has just one FYI Labeled “Read this on the day you will die.” “Read this on the day you will die.” |
Did you buy that book on sports
That would let Biff Tannen build resorts
Placing bets it tells him to?
Now, can you sing lead in rock ’n’ roll?
Will music rescue your unborn soul
Since paradoxes take effect real slow?
Well, you know she’ll fall in love with him
If they kiss while dancing in the gym.
It’s all been preordained
If you just keep them entertained.
I got Biff Tannen’s Ford filled up with muck
In an altercation with a pickup truck
But I’m the one who’s really stuck
The day the future died.
And so I had to
(Chorus)
Well, in thirty years this will all be lost
While Biff grows rich as casino boss.
But that’s not how it used to be
Since the day I made a new time line
In the briefs I got from Calvin Klein
As the boy who fell out of a tree.
I almost got myself erased
When I tackled Dad and took his place.
The timeline was derailed.
The meet-cute moment failed.
It was hard to stay laid back and calm
When I found out Dad’s a peeping Tom.
He climbed the tree to spy on Mom
The day the future died.
That’s why I had to
(Chorus)
Fission’s simple. Takes more than a thimble:
A lead-lined trunk with a fallout symbol.
One point two one gigawatts.
A high speed chase with rifle shots
At speeds approaching 80 knots.
While Doc bleeds on the Twin Pines parking lot.
Mid-fifties had guys fill your tank.
Non-diet soda’s all they drank.
It’s one week ’til the dance,
But a lot depends on chance.
For your dad is still a nerdy teen,
Perched in a tree to stay unseen,
But why’d you have to intervene
The day the future died?
Now it’s time to
(Chorus)
Then I returned, undid a crime
One generation back in time,
And now the book’s destroyed for sure.
It took a flying skateboard, flying car,
And Biff’s luck turning worse by far.
’Cause Tannens always say they hate manure.
But as we made the rendezvous
A bolt struck Doc out of the blue
And who can help me now?
There’s one man who knows how.
And where the flame tracks marked our farewell site,
His brand-new theory proven right,
I found Doc cavorting with delight
The day the future died.
It’s time again to
(Chorus)
Doc met a girl who taught in school
And revealed the truth, that love-struck fool.
She got mad and ran away.
I went down to the town saloon
With the clock outside; they’d mount it soon,
For those of us who live to see the day.
And in the street, a showdown starts,
A hidden shield protects my heart.
A fresh manure foretoken.
The tombstone has been broken.
Young Mister Eastwood last was seen
In a trail of smoke — red, yellow, green —
In a train crash in Shonash Ravine
The day the future died.
With no more need to
(Chorus)