Parody of “Anything Goes”, words and music by
Cole Porter
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Parody lyrics ©2026-02-15 by Bob Kanefsky. All rights reserved. The copyright of the original lyrics and music remain with the holder(s) of the original copyright.
Filk has changed
In the manner of songs it spawns,
Since it sprang up at SF cons,
Sometime during the Age of Bronze.
Songs today
Aren’t all of the SF ilk.
’Stead of filk being all we sing
Everything we sing is filk.
It’s not considered a contradiction
If filk’s not from science fiction
In printed prose.
Anything goes.
And certainly there is no stricture
On songs based on motion pictures
Or TV shows
Anything goes.
| Chorus: |
If rovers on Mars you pick If space bars you pick If folk tales you pick If dead whales you pick If pet cats you pick Or brains in vats you pick Well, nobody will oppose. |
In chaos filk or bardic circle
Not even the rudest jerk’ll
Knock what you chose;
Anything goes.
Filk circles are like big tossed salads
Of rocketry, Child Ballads
And dryad woes.
Anything goes
| Chorus: |
If half-elven thieves you play If Green Sleeves you play If train wrecks you play If space sex you play Ic undead you play Or instead you play One of those wooden piccolos |
When topics range from mad designers
To cannibalistic miners
Who nearly froze,
Anything goes.
| Chorus: |
A corpse in a clock will pass Comic-book rock will pass I’m sure Bach will pass A were-hawk will pass Whatever comes to pass With Mr. Spock will pass And nobody will oppose! |
Although we’re told don’t use the laser
To set the ship cat ablaze
And leave airlocks closed,
Anything goes!