The Watcher

Parody of “La Bruja”, words and music by Brenda Sutton

For more information and other parodies, see www.songworm.com
Parody lyrics ©11/3/2009 by Bob Kanefsky. All rights reserved. The copyright of the original lyrics and music remain with the holder(s) of the original copyright.

This was written at OVFF 2009 (the first draft, anyway) for a lyrics-writing workshop led by Bill and Brenda Sutton. The topic was “the watcher” and the suggested list of 114 concepts to use, the result of brainstorming, included: attention, big brother, bubbling liquids, burbling liquids, chills, clenching, confidante, copulating, distraction, front row seat, frustration, goose flesh, helplessneess, invisibility, movement of lace curtains, numbness, observation, paralysis, screens, secretive, slow slow quick quick slow, weeping, wet feet. (My first draft used “one clench of my fist,” and I think “weep” influenced my subconscious Google search for a source song.) Obviously my entry would be a parody. Could I help it if “bubbling” and “burbling” suggested a song written by Brenda? What else matched? (Well, okay, there’s “307 Ale,” which uses those exact words, but that never occurred to me until someone pointed it out.)

Watching gives me goose flesh as it sets my juices bubbling:
Dark and chill distraction of desires I find troubling.
First, your close-up stare that stokes my simmering frustration.
Then, a glimpse of half-bared flesh, preceding copulation.

Chorus: One touch of my thumb:  You’re numb!
One wave of my hand:  Say what you planned.
One minute or two, savoring the sight of you.
One flick of my wrist:  You don’t exist.

One light touch can paralyze you; that is my ability,
Along with time reversal, and, of course, invisibility.
I have been your confidante, and you will never know it.
And everything you did not tell, I’ll wait for you to show it.

(Chorus)

I was the billowing shower curtain
Worshipping at your wet feet.
You could not see me — of that I’m certain —
Observing from my front row seat.

Slowly, I’ll grow tired of my secretive attention.
That is when Fast Forward is my favorite invention.
Will I just eject you then, and go and view another?
Or watch the episode again, my eyes on your big brother?

(Chorus)

One wave, and you pause!
One touch turns you on!
One click!  And you’re gone...