'Til the Battery Pack Runs Out

Parody of “'Til the Rest of the Lights Go Out”, words and music by Nate Bucklin

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Parody lyrics ©9/4/91 by Bob Kanefsky. All rights reserved. The copyright of the original lyrics and music remain with the holder(s) of the original copyright.

Loosely inspired by a story by Isaac Asimov, half remembered. I m probably being even less faithful to it than the wife was to her husband.

He came without instructions, a dark and handsome swain,
His finely chiseled features all aglow.
Electric senses tingling in his positronic brain.
And the power pack inside that makes him go.
The perfect household model for a modern housewife s needs.
So nicely built.  So faithfully designed.
His mistress cannot help but feel a thrilling sense of guilt
As forbidden thoughts sneak through her conscious mind:

(Chorus)

Chorus: How long does it take  til the battery pack runs out?
How long  til there s something user-programmable going on?
Til there s not one fantasy left to dream about?
How long does it take  til the battery pack runs out?

A quick search at the bookstore, to find out what makes him tick.
And exciting news rewards her frantic hunt.
A Second Law imperative would surely do the trick,
If the robot could perform the act she d want.
She doesn t want to rush it.  Get to know his hardware specs.
First take him to the beach to swim and play.
The miracle technology does all that she expects.
There s lots of time for gawking anyway.

(Chorus)

His hair gets wet and plastered.
His skin gets nicely tanned.
His bathing suit, informatively tight.
The sand gets warm and cozy.
The wait gets hard to stand.
She s thumbing through his manual.
He s charging in the light.

Tonight he cooks a turkey, but dessert will be more fun,
She watches him insert the oven s probe.
His touch commands the oven to sense when the bird is done.
And she s starting to warm up beneath her robe.

(Chorus)