Parody of “A Look at Things That Don't Exist”, words and music by
Jane Robinson
For
more information
and other parodies, see
www.songworm.com
Reprinted from
Songworm 3
Parody lyrics ©1988-09-03 by Bob Kanefsky. All rights reserved. The copyright of the original lyrics and music remain with the holder(s) of the original copyright.
| G No | thing’s a folk song un | C less | it is | G oss | ified. |
| A7 None | have come | D7 out | since at | A7 least | World War | D7 II | . |
| G Any | thing recent must | C just | be re | G class | ified. |
| The | C song | Banks of | G Sic | ily | D7 sim | ply won’t | G do | . |
| G Do | , | D7 do | ! | C Sim | ply won’t | G do | ! |
| Don’t let prolificness | A7 go | to your | D7 head | . |
| G Next | time you finish a | C brill | iant new | G mas | terpiece, |
| Re | C mem | ber it’s | G worth | less ’til | D7 you | are long | G dead | . |
| G No | thing’s a folk song un | C less | it’s tra | G di | tional. |
| A7 Not | if it’s | D7 writ | ten by | A7 some | one you | D7 knew | . |
| G Post | humous credit is | C mere | ly tran | G sit | ional. |
| That | C Grand | father | G Clock | song quite | D7 sim | ply won’t | G do | . |
| G Do | , | D7 do | ! | C Sim | ply won’t | G do | ! |
| Just being dead is no | A7 pass | port to | D7 fame | . |
| G Aft | er your fans hear that | C you’ve | kicked the | G buck | et, |
| You’re | C no | good un | G til | they’ve for | D7 got | ten your | G name | . |
| G No | thing’s a folk song un | C less | it’s a | G cou | stical. |
| A7 Show | me the | D7 wood | and the | A7 tree | whence it | D7 grew | . |
| G Plas | tic and wires and | C amps | aren’t | G mus | ical. |
| Di | C vine | Inter | G ven | tion | quite | D7 sim | ply won’t | G do | . |
| G Do | , | D7 do | ! | C Sim | ply won’t | G do | ! |
| Synthesized music’s the | A7 grav | est of | D7 sin | . |
| G Folk | music’s played on gui | C tars | or on | G dul | cimers. |
| And | C those | only | G count | if you | D7 can’t | plug them | G in | . |
| G No | thing’s a folk song if | C it’s | under | G cop | yright, |
| And | A7 sung | in the | D7 fear | that the | A7 au | thor might | D7 sue | . |
| G Ev | en old favorites like | C Mom | my and | G Pop | py write. |
| The | C tune | Happy | G Birth | day quite | D7 sim | ply won’t | G do | . |
| G Do | , | D7 do | ! | C Sim | ply won’t | G do | ! |
| Music’s not folk if it’s | A7 some | thing you | D7 buy | . |
| G Next | time they sing you a | C song | with your | G birth | day cake, |
| Just | C hope | they re | G mem | bered to | D7 pay | B.M. | G I | . |
| G No | thing’s a folk song un | C less | it is | G per | iod. |
| A7 Men | tion of | D7 space | ships is | A7 strict | ly tab | D7 oo | . |
| G Fla | grant exceptions to | C this | rule are | G my | riad. |
| C Ship | Without | G Sails | will quite | D7 sim | ply not | G do | . |
| G Do | , | D7 do | ! | C Sim | ply won’t | G do | ! |
| Use nothing | A7 built | after Rome’s rise and | D7 fall | . |
| G If | the song mentions a | C car | or a | G tel | ephone, |
| You | C know | that it | G can’t | be a | D7 folk | song at | G all | . |
| G No | thing’s a folk song if | C it | is too | G lit | erate. |
| A7 Use | simple | D7 words | with the | A7 mass | es in | D7 view | . |
| G Tech | nical lyrics are | C quite | incon | G sid | erate. |
| Dr. | C Jane’s. | Waca | G dem | ia | D7 sim | ply won’t | G do | . |
| G Do | , | D7 do | ! | C Sim | ply won’t | G do | ! |
| Folk music’s made for the | A7 man | on the | D7 street | . |
| The | G worth | of a song is in | C verse | ly pro | G por | tional |
| To se | C mes | ters of | G col | lege you | D7 need | to com | G plete | . |
| G No | thing’s a folk song un | C less | it’s original. |
| Each | A7 lyr | ic and | D7 note | must be | A7 writ | ten by | D7 you | . |
| The | G stat | us of take-offs, at | C best | , is pro | G vis | ional. |
| The | C Star | -Spangled | G Ban | ner quite | D7 sim | ply won’t | G do | . |
| G Do | , | D7 do | ! | C Sim | ply won’t | G do | ! |
| Red-white-and-blue may be | A7 blonde | at the | D7 roots | . |
| G Next | time you hear an ob | C nox | ious new | G par | ody, |
| C Run | it up | G flag | poles and | D7 see | who sa | G lutes | . |
| G No | thing’s a folk song un | C less | it is | G auth | orized, |
| G An | alyzed | D7 close | ly and | A7 pure | through and | D7 through | , |
| G Ar | chived and numbered and | C prop | erly | G can | onized. |
| C An | ything | G less | will quite | D7 sim | ply not | G do | . |
| G Do | , | D7 do | ! | C Sim | ply won’t | G do | ! |
| Most of your | A7 mus | ic will simply not | D7 do | . |
| G Folk | songs are judged by our | C strin | gent cri | G ter | ia, |
| C Not | by the | G stand | ards of | D7 folk | such as | G you | . |
