Parody of “Persephone”, words and music by
Michelle Dockrey
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Parody lyrics ©2009-03-12 by Bob Kanefsky. All rights reserved. The copyright of the original lyrics and music remain with the holder(s) of the original copyright.
You tried to date a filker in the middle of the day.
You picked me up at noon and took me to a matinee.
And that daylight bargain may have saved us each a buck or three.
But whyever did you go and choose a movie rated “G”?
And the theater’s full of rug rats, faces freshly scrubbed and pink.
You know there’s other ways of saving dough:
We could have chosen not to eat or drink.
| Chorus: |
But we only see films for families Where the plot is all sweetness and light. Yes, we only see films for families We won’t start a family tonight. |
And when you send me back for popcorn, there is no one who will know
That a part of me is tempted to just take the car and go.
For this film is for all ages, and it leaves me with no doubt
This is one trip into darkness I could surely do without.
And it’s the unrelenting cuteness of the banter I can’t stand.
And if it has to have a moral,
Why lay it on so thick with such a heavy hand?
(Chorus)
And the animation’s awesome, but I cannot fathom why
I would care if he gets home, when I have other fish to fry.
Would it kill you just for once to watch a horror film or three?
Like “The Silence of the Lambs,” or
Like “The Dawning of the Dead.”
There are movies you have never tried to see.
And when the father finds the son who had been swept up in a net,
When I saw he was succeeding, I felt nothing but regret.
For uplifting endings make me want to turn aside and retch,
While you just get all misty-eyed, and wonder why I kvetch.
Now even standing in the sunlight, I feel soda on my shoe.
I find some gum stuck to my garments — Yes,
Whenever I wear this I’ll think of you.
But we only watch films for families,
Where the dead things just lie where they fall.
Yes, we only see films for families
We won’t start a family at all.