Self Glaze


Reprinted from Songworm 2

Parody of “Elf Glade”, words and music by Meg Davis

For more information and other parodies, see www.songworm.com
Parody lyrics ©10/21/89 by Bob Kanefsky. All rights reserved. The copyright of the original lyrics and music remain with the holder(s) of the original copyright.

About “Shimmer”, a Saturday Night Live fake commercial.

“Am
Cool 		whipped cream.”  “Em
No		, it’s floor wax.”
Am
“I 		should know; I’ve C
had 		three helpings:
F
One 		aC
top 		my G
pump		kin pie,
And E
on 		my cake, and Am
on 		my sundae.”

“Am
Cool 		whipped cream.”  “Em
No		, it’s floor wax.”
“Am
Cool 		whipped cream:  you C
ought 		to try it,
F
For 		the C
store 		I G
went 		to buy it
E
Keeps 		it with the Am
fro		zen foods.”

Chorus:
F
Ice 		and C
air 		and G
text		ured Am
pla		stic.
Em
Fluf		fy as your new upAm
hol		stery.
F
So 		comC
plete 		and G
so 		conAm
ven		ient!
Em
Goes 		down smooth withAm
out 		congealing.
G
Nev		er leaves a Am
wax		y feeling.
Em
Goes 		down smooth withAm
out 		congealing.
G
Nev		er leaves a waxy E
feel		Am
—

“Am
Cool 		whipped cream.”  “Em
No		, it’s floor wax.”
“Am
I’ve 		got some on C
my 		hot chocolate.”
“F
Make 		you C
sick		.”   “Don’t G
make 		me laugh!
For E
what 		is there that Am
won’t 		cause cancer?”

! F ! C !  G ! Am

“Am
Try 		some now.”  “Em
How 		disgusting!”
“Am
Cool 		and creamy C
on 		the palate!”
is for?
“F
Don’t 		you C
see 		what G
this 		E
Is 		your pallet Am
on 		the floor?”

“Am
Try 		some now.”  “Em
How 		disgusting!”
can spread this
ble legs
“Am
Move 		your feet so C
I 		F
Un		derC
neath 		the G
ta		And E
through 		the nooks and Am
in 		the crannies.”

Am
Cool 		whipped cream, Em
and 		a floor wax!
Am
Both 		in one, would C
you 		believe it?
F
Now 		we C
have 		them G
in 		one bottle:
E
Low		er fat and Am
eas		y mopping.
F
Li		quid C
wax 		and G
cream		y E
top		Am
ping		!

(Chorus)

Performers beware: Each verse uses a slightly different tune for its last line. For best results, do the parody with those same variations in the same places. The chords, however, are the same (E and Am). All the chords given above are from Meg Davis’s Captain Jack songbook, which shows the special fingering she uses.