Picard and the Gorn; Picard and Kirk at Veridian

Parody of “Ironic”, words and music by Alanis Morissette, Glen Ballard

For more information and other parodies, see www.songworm.com
Parody lyrics ©2019-09-14 by Bob Kanefsky. All rights reserved. The copyright of the original lyrics and music remain with the holder(s) of the original copyright.

This song is in a foreign language — a fictional foreign language. Just so you’ll
understand it, here’s one possible rough translation of the first verse and chorus:
“Death is predestined very shortly.
Tomorrow will be just like today and it’s beyond your power to change that.
Mind control.
Unexpected culture shock.
Unexpected violent betrayal.
Predictable, repeated betrayal.
Desire for a quick exit from a weird or dangerous situation.”

It’s a red shirt on a guy with no name.
It’s the weatherman waking to his third Groundhog’s Day.
It’s the wrong droids;  repeat what I say.
It’s the feeling that Kansas is now far away.
And isn’t it expressive, when you say

Chorus: It’s like Cain… and his brother dear.
It’s like Lucy… with the football each year.
It’s like “Scotty!!    Beam me up out out of here”
We’re just like the children of Tama!

It’s like feeding your mogwai too late after dark.
It’s Ahab’s white whale, or the Fonz and the shark.
It’s an AI computer who won’t open doors.
It’s a tasty whipped topping that’s also for floors.
And isn’t it expressive, when you say


Alice, through the looking glass.
Goldilocks … [panicky] awakening!!
Breadcrumbs! Breadcrumbs!
Dorothy in the balloon!
The pumpkin at midnight!
Dorthy clicking her heels!
Jack, when the beanstalk fell.
Dorothy, with the Munch—
Dorothy, awakening.

It’s like marrying Bluebeard when you’re not his first spouse.
It’s when Robinson Crusoe MacGyvers a house.
It’s like George Bailey’s bank run in “A Wonderful Life”.
It’s like “there is no spoon”, but “this is a knife”.
And isn’t it expressive, when you say


It’s like citing the tortoise when you’re running late.
Or creating a scandal by adding a gate.
It’s like splitting the party at the Bates Motel showers.
Or a GMO spider whose bite gives you powers.
Wait, isn’t it atomic?    Don’t you think?
It is, too, atomic!  Yeah, I’m pretty damn sure


It this really so Twilight Zone?
Very far down the rabbit hole?
Just find a Rosetta Stone.
It’s not such a Gordian knot; you’ll
Figure it out.   Figure it out.