Parody of “Better Not Tell Her”, words and music by
Carly Simon
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Parody lyrics ©6/29/96 by Bob Kanefsky. All rights reserved. The copyright of the original lyrics and music remain with the holder(s) of the original copyright.
Better not tell her that I was your lover.
Better not let her know how I feel.
Better convince her it was all straight and narrow.
Those are not my initials, and they’ll probably heal.
But if you slip and my name comes up,
Don’t deny we were lovers.
Just leave out the handcuffs!
The four-poster bedframe.
The scrape of your whiskers!
The vain pleas for mercy.
Better not tell her why you love leather jackets.
Don’t bother to say that it’s cold in the cellar in the nude.
Let it all vanish, like a flame touching moisture.
Like the ice dripping down, ’til the spy tells the truth.
But if you slip and my name should come up,
Don’t deny we were once lovers.
Just leave out the handcuffs!
The four-poster bedframe.
The scrape of your whiskers!
The vain pleas for mercy.
Leave out the threats and the cursing!
She won’t need to know
That I begged you to stop,
And complained when you did.