Heartrending

Parody of “Heartwarming”, words and music by Kathy Mar

For more information and other parodies, see www.songworm.com
Parody lyrics ©2018-08-19 by Bob Kanefsky. All rights reserved. The copyright of the original lyrics and music remain with the holder(s) of the original copyright.

This was a throwaway insta-filk written in an hour or two at WorldCon 76 in San Jose. Someone did a zombie parody of "All of Me" followed shortly by Kathy Mar doing "Heartwarming". I figured if it works for "all of me" it would work for "all of you", and I found enough congruencies that I couldn't resist trying.

I’m planning on eating all of you 
A little bit every day.
Each one a complete and special treat 
The longer I’m held at bay. 
I have come to report your lives won’t last
As long as you might have planned,
When blood overflows the cup of your heart
As I rip it out by hand. 

Chorus: And here’s why I called this meeting:
They sent me here to explain 
I look into your eyes and see your brain. 

The mall’s full of people just like you
Conveniently in one place.
I promised before if you open the door
Then no one will eat your face. 
But all of you make me hungry for 
The dawn of that coming day
When all of your innards will have become
An all-you-can-eat buffet. 

(Chorus)