Parody of “If You Could Read My Mind”, words and music by
Gordon Lightfoot
For
more information
and other parodies, see
www.songworm.com
Parody lyrics ©2001-03-06 by Bob Kanefsky. All rights reserved. The copyright of the original lyrics and music remain with the holder(s) of the original copyright.
If you could read my mind, love,
What a tale my thoughts could tell:
Like how I feel 'bout sushi
And the way that it looks and smells.
When you eat the part with the tentacles,
I gently close my eyes,
Before my gorge can rise.
But never fear, my plate is clean.
I dumped it in my lap to lie unseen.
If you could read my mind, love,
What a tale my thoughts could tell:
Like how a night at the opera
Is like a year in Hell.
When the villain dies, and the end is near,
I cheer with all the rest.
It's not that I'm impressed.
It's just that if I had the choice,
I'd sooner see him dead than hear his voice.
I hide the pain like a martyred saint
Who gets burned at a wooden stake.
You really take the cake.
You never lack that special knack
Of treating me to good things I detest.
But at least you haven't guessed.
I never thought I could act this well;
For all you can tell, I enjoyed each minute.
I don't know why you're so blind,
But don't read my mind
'Cause what's in it isn't nice.
If you could read my mind, love,
What a tale my thoughts could tell:
Like how I feel 'bout sushi
And the way that it looks and smells.
Like the shredded shark, or the jellyfish.
I'm squeamish as I touch
The seaweed that's their shroud.
And if you looked beneath my chair
You'd see that there's a lot that you don't know.
You haven't got a clue.
While I'm not sure that I feel so well,
For all you can tell, I enjoyed each morsel.
I can't keep this up too long,
But my love is strong,
And of course it's all for you.