Parody of “Downtown”, words and music by
Tony Hatch
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and other parodies, see
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Parody lyrics ©2017-01-15 by Bob Kanefsky. All rights reserved. The copyright of the original lyrics and music remain with the holder(s) of the original copyright.
for © and info and final version
When life’s mundane and every day is the same
Then you can try to find
Night Vale.
If you should feel that something dark and surreal
Is what would ease your mind:
Night Vale.
Listen to the station with the scientist's companion,
Marvel at the radiance of scenic Radon Canyon.
Breathtaking view.
Strange lights when the sun has set.
If you see them, say nothing
And drink to forget.
This is Night Vale!
Night Vale! Mountain mirages in
Night Vale! Angels? Androgynous.
Night Vale! Don’t mention either out loud.
Don’t hang around until antiques can surround you that escaped their cage.
Night Vale!
Maybe you wonder why your childhood chum is less than half your age.
Night Vale!
To mention one adventure that your residence could lead to:
Someone who looks just like you you'll feel a sudden need to
Bludgeon to death.
They always need interns there.
You could forget your life’s worries, forget your life’s cares.
Work in Night Vale!
College requirement.
Night Vale! Early retirement.
Night Vale! They won't be firing you.
Due to the strangeness, it may all seem so dangerous, no law at all.
Night Vale!
Not in the least; the sheriff’s secret police will always hear your call.
Night Vale!
Photograph your artwork of a levitating kitten.
Stand outside the dog park, where all entry is forbidden—
People, and dogs.
You’ll never feel too alone.
There is a faceless old woman who lives in your home.
Home in Night Vale! Stroking your pictures in Night Vale!
Changing your fiction in Night Vale!
Something brushed quickly past you.
Sometimes you're saved by all the nice helpful neighbors when stuck in the mud.
Night Vale
If you need cash, just pawn your sister's eyelashes or your brother's blood.
Night Vale
Visit crowded quarters that are trendy, yet consist of
Lots of deadbeat fathers and the friendliest baristas.
Lending a hand.
The streets are much cleaner there,
My god they clean them tomorrow, so better beware!
When in Night Vale! Hope you get out in time!
Night Vale! Don't be a valentine!
Night Vale! Kittens have poison spines too!
One of your neighbors is a sentient haze, who was a bowling champ.
Night Vale
Right ’til the day a tiny civilization tried to set up camp.
Night Vale
Listen to the weather when the traffic is depressing.
Not the floorboards creaking in the dark while you’re undressing.
Who hid your keys?
Elections are weirder there
Because the faceless old woman is running for mayor
Mayor of Night Vale!
Night Vale! If she is suitable
Night Vale! It’s indisputable.
Night Vale! Dragons are too, around here.
Don't blame the cops for all the black helicopters, because theirs are blue.
Night Vale
Maybe a vague yet somehow menacing agency is watching you.
Night Vale
Just as the ex mayor will call a conference to announce will
Tell you, you can rest assured the Night Vale city council
Speaks with one voice.
Those condos will sell themselves.
The library’s well-stocked with horror,
Just not on the shelves.
Here in Night Vale!
Guarding the pages in Night Vale!
Reading’s courageous in Night Vale!
May just be death’s overdue.