_Do_me_st^icus

Parody of “The Two of Us”, words and music by Heather Rose Jones

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Parody lyrics ©6/23/92 by Bob Kanefsky. All rights reserved. The copyright of the original lyrics and music remain with the holder(s) of the original copyright.

Am It’s

been just the

F two

of us

for

Am too

long to re

F call

or even

G try

.

Nothing much to

E do

while I’m

Dm with

you

but

E lan

guish, balled up

C near

the fire’s heat.

And the

Am meat

, or what must

F pass

for it,

is too

Am dry

, cold, and

F bor

ing for my

G taste

.

I’ve

G some

times stalked the

E grass

to find us

Dm food

,

but you let

E your

half go to

Am waste

.

I can’t quite remember now
just what I am or who my mother was.
You bear no resemblence to me but
perhaps you grew from a more fuzzy youth?.
No, the truth is those born with me
were enslaved, cast out, or murdered long ago.
While I, the fourth- or fifth-born, have been saved —
for what dark purpose I don’t know.

Pity ’bout the furniture,
when I forgot the sharpness of my claws.
I thought you had inferred what’s on my mind
and bought the carpeting because of me.
Don’t you see that the temptation of the texture
is enough to give one É paws?
The ultimate sensation I like next
to cotton stuffing, lace, and gauze.