Deathwish of Hygiene

Reprinted from Songworm 2

Parody of “Starship and Haiku”, words and music by Kathy Mar

For more information and other parodies, see
Parody lyrics ©4/29/90 by Bob Kanefsky. All rights reserved. The copyright of the original lyrics and music remain with the holder(s) of the original copyright.

I wasn t the first to mishear flaw as fly in the original, and I m not the first to start a parody of it that way. The fact that I wrote this at Kathy s house is in no way a reflection on the state of her kitchen at the time.

I am the fly in the tea ball; I will not taste good.
I would not be here if you d washed it, the way that you should.
Yesterday s roast has been tossed in the sink to decay.
See the cold grease, where it pools in the drain.
See the mold reach, like a slow spreading stain.
See the roast rot where it s bound to remain
One more day.

Deathwish of hygiene:
Jellied Joy and drying Dove,
Lost behind the scum.

Deathwish of hygiene:
One vast, foul reminder of
All you should have done.

I am the blood in the woodgrain; I cannot be cleaned.
I am the tinge of tomato, the stench of sardine.
I am the festering food in the fridge at the front.
Dried-out dessert on a shelf in the door.
Rancid ricotta it s wrong to ignore.
Spoiled spaghetti you solemnly swore
You would want.

Deathwish of hygiene.
Crumbled biscuits, butter-clad:
Remnants of a snack.

Deathwish of hygiene.
If you thought the front was bad,
You should see the back
... (Ack!)