Parody of “Sycamore Tree”, words and music by
Seanan McGuire
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Parody lyrics ©11/26/2006 by Bob Kanefsky. All rights reserved. The copyright of the original lyrics and music remain with the holder(s) of the original copyright.
You’ll find your boyfriend at the back of the old cemetery.
Who do you think put him there?
His transmission, wrapped around mine.
There was a time I thought that time had a hold over me,
And I thought life was so unfair,
But now I’m doing just fine.
On the night I skipped my prom
I floored the gas and sped away.
And I took that curve with such aplomb,
Never mind the guard rail in my way.
The car went up like a bomb
And lit the cliff as bright as day!
Wonder if they ever got me out.
‘Cause I was ripe for thrills and I was ripe for rage.
And I was never meant to reach a ripe old age.
Now I’m driving fast and driving men insane.
[Driving men insane.]
And you can tell they want me by the route they choose.
In a race, you know somebody has to lose.
Now I’m still 16, and I’m dressed to kill,
Calling them to say “Let’s drag.”
(Calling them to say “Let’s drag.”)
[Calling us to say “Let’s drag.”]
I used to drive to the ravine
And press the pedal to the floor.
I’m a drive-through succubus
That teenaged boys fall victim to.
They all know just where I’ll be seen
Yet they keep on coming back for more.
And when the ground comes up at us
They know their lives are through.
On the night I skipped my prom
I thought “Why settle for one man?
Grow old and married like my mom?
Why not die pretty while I can?”
And I got Harry, Jim, and Tom,
And I got Justin, Josh, and Sam!
And that’s really not so bad a start.
(Drive away!) [Why not] (drive away?)
‘Cause I was ripe for thrills and I was ripe for rage.
And I had no intent to reach a ripe old age.
Now I’m driving fast and driving men insane.
[Driving men insane.]
You don’t get second chances with a fatal wreck,
Never get replacements for a broken neck.
In their final moments, they think, “What the heck.
She’s calling me to say ‘Let’s drag.’”
Samuel Harris loves Rosie Marshall.
That’s the truth and that’s a laugh.
‘Cause I stole his heart from another girlfriend,
At a million miles an hour. And he’s not coming back.
(Come back!) [Let’s drag!]
Samuel Harris loves Rosie Marshall.
[Rosie Marshall.]
Samuel Harris loves Samuel Harris loves [Rosie Marshall.]
Samuel Harris loves [Rosie Marshall.]
Samuel Harris loves — [Start your engine.] — Rosie Marshall.
That’s the truth. That’s a laugh.
Samuel Harris loves —
Start your engine. Start your engine. Drive away.
[Why not] drive away.
I’m just a real short thing who offers real long odds.
I run my cold dead fingers down their hot young bods.
A red-blooded gal who likes red-blooded guys.
I’m a dismembered corpse in a cute-girl disguise.
You’ll find your beau buried in the cemetery.
You’ll find your beau buried in the cemetery.
Who do you think put him there?
His transmission, wrapped around mine.
Who do you think put him there?
His transmission, wrapped around mine.
Who do you think... Let’s drag!
Somebody always has to try.
[You’ll find my old car lodged in the sycamore tree.]
That means somebody has to die.
Now I’m still 16, and I’m dressed to kill,
[Calling us]
Calling them to say, calling them to say,
Calling them to say, “Let’s drag.”
(Samuel Harris loves Rosie Marshall.)
(Dick and Harry and Josh and Jimmy and)
(John and Thomas love Rosie Marshall.)
(That’s an outrage! That’s a shame!)
(‘Cause she stole their hearts from their other girlfriends)
At a million miles an hour.
(A million miles an hour.)
And they’re the ones to blame.
(They’re to blame.)
[I’m to blame.]
Let’s drag!
(They’re to blame.)
[I’m to blame.]
You’ll find your beau buried in the cemetery.
Who do you think put him there?
His transmission, wrapped around mine.
Let’s drag!