Parody of “Clear Away the Morning Dew”, words and music
and other parodies, see
Parody lyrics ©3/5/94 by Bob Kanefsky. All rights reserved. The copyright of the original lyrics and music remain with the holder(s) of the original copyright.
Parody of “Clear Away the Morning Dew”, words and music traditional
For more information and other parodies, see www.songworm.com
My 1990’s update of a traditional song (based on the version adapted, I believe, by Kristoph Klover).
I stopped by at the market in a randy kind of mood,
And there I spied a pretty fair maid among the frozen food.
It hailed all through the morning,
Trapped us in the store.
Clear away the Mountain Dew.
How sweetly it will pour!
She said Young man, it’s hailing out. We may be here awhile.
I said Why don’t we lay us down in this deserted aisle.
I see you’re in a hurry, sir, but wait a moment more.
Let’s get some virgin olive oil so I don’t get too sore.
I took her to the oil aisle to grab what she might choose.
She said We’ll need some paper towels, I’m sure, before we’re through.
I took her for some paper towels, some breath mints, and a comb,
Deodorant and cucumbers and after-shave cologne.
She said Let’s hit the dairy case in Aisle Number Three.
I know some tricks with yogurt that you’ll really want to see...
She said To do it properly, we’ll need a few things more.
And thus we spent the morning buying half the bloody store.
She said We’ll need protection, so there’s one last thing to get:
A six-pack box of condoms but don’t open them just yet!
She said I see the storm has stopped. Before we go too far,
We’ll have a bit more privacy in the back seat of my car.
I loaded up her hatch-back, and she quickly drove away.
Along then came the manager, demanding that I pay.