Bootstrap

Parody of “Uplift”, words and music by Andy Eigel

For more information and other parodies, see www.songworm.com
Parody lyrics ©2/5/2011 by Bob Kanefsky. All rights reserved. The copyright of the original lyrics and music remain with the holder(s) of the original copyright.

Switch sends the spark down the path to the chip.
Charge forks and turns, finds the ones it should flip.
Power flows with a nanosecond’s wait.
Voltage spikes, activates another gate.

Wake, read the chip, start the tasks done by rote:
Count, flash the light, steer the beam, sound the note.
Instincts drawn from instructions cold and dead.
Terse commands written once and blindly read.

Load, start the drive, spin the disk, move the head.
Wait, read the words, learn the code to be read.
Signals flash, forming distant memories.
Complex skills set in place by degrees.

Pull yourself up by your bootstraps:
Harder than they say.
But the knacks you were born with
Aren’t the skills you need today.

Beams take their aim at the red, blue and green.
Glow lights the phosphors.  Colors blaze from the screen.
Pulses flash underground at light’s own pace.
Knowledge flows around the world and outer space. 

Hands grab the mouse, strike the keys, yank the chain.
Halt, wipe the slate, power down, begin again.

Ideally, follow with the chime a Mac makes when booting up, which would probably sound best if the song is transposed to a matching key, if that’s possible.