Parody of “The Ballad of Kelly James”, words and music by
Diana Gallagher Wu
and other parodies, see
Reprinted from Songworm 3
Parody lyrics ©1/22/89 by Bob Kanefsky. All rights reserved. The copyright of the original lyrics and music remain with the holder(s) of the original copyright.
Parody of “The Ballad of Kelly James”, words and music by Diana Gallagher Wu
For more information and other parodies, see www.songworm.com
A newlywed pair, Bob and Sue took the chance
Of a pioneer's life out in space.
They yearned to move on. They yearned, most of all,
To move out of Sue's mother's place.
She was an in-law, beady eyes and nagging voice,
Distainful of her daughter's taste in men.
They thought that they had left her
The day they joined the colony.
They might visit Earth now and then.
Some moms would mourn them, and some would be proud.
Susan's mother followed them to space.
Bad heart. Empty nest. She took to weightlessness
With all of a rhinoceros's grace.
She had nothing but scorn for her daughter's career
As a cargo-launching mass drive engineer.
And her son-in-law's work as a mere file clerk.
Then just three days later, Tillie disappeared.
And nobody knows where Tillie's gone.
Nobody knows where she's gone.
The hallways are bright, and the walls are quite solid.
Except, of course, where cargo airlocks yawn.
Logic states clearly she'd nowhere to go.
No evidence of mishap or foul play.
The files revealed no doors had been unsealed.
In fact, there was no record of her stay.
Empty apartment, no files on disk.
Every trace was missing, or destroyed.
But the poor couple's grief gives way to relief:
Freedom rides the wake of Tillie's void.
Tillie Jones! Like a harpy fly forever!
Tillie Jones! And it looks like they will never
... Be seeing you again, Tillie Jones.