^An_{y P}o_rt ⁱⁿ a _St_orm

Parody of “Safe Harbor”, words by Rilla Heslin , music by Harold Groot

For more information and other parodies, see www.songworm.com
Parody lyrics ©1990-09-16 by Bob Kanefsky. All rights reserved. The copyright of the original lyrics and music remain with the holder(s) of the original copyright.

Although I know now that the original lyrics were written by a woman, historically it’s been men who have come home to safe households maintained by women, and escape briefly from the hard world outside. Probably most of the great men throughout history had some woman to unload their troubles on, without whom they could never have gone out every day and did what they did including, perhaps, men like Genghis Khan, General Custer, Adolf Hitler...

There’s a

C place

I can hide

That’s

F safe

from the wars outside,

Where I can

C wal

low when I want repairs.

No

D mat

ter what I’ve

G done

,

A

F gush

ing and pliant acc

G ept

ance is always

C there

.

Chorus:

C Pla cid waters flow, F Shal low, tame, and slow. Love is  C al ways there for me, D Wait G ing! And  F wait ing, ’til I  G deign  to reap C pea r.

My life I see reflected
In the pirate ships of old,
In the whalers and slave ships,
In the battle fleets:
The relentless slaughter that the sea supports,
Passively upholds.

When you’ve serviced me once more,
I turn my back on you and cruise away.
My guns held high if any kind of ship
Gets in my way,
I’m all set to kick their aft.

(Chorus)

As always, I’ll return,
With smoking guns and blood-stained keel,
Into my favorite port.
I’ll unload my burdens right on you
Like any port, you shield me from life’s storms
Just fine.

(Chorus)