Bob Kanefsky's web site Songworm parody database ~ Essays ~ Bookstore ~ C&H Quiz “Tribble Gumbo” secret ingredients

There's a tribble on the front of my CD. There's a tribble on the front of my CD. Since the cover art was drawn They changed their mind about the song That put the tribble on the front of my CD.

Almost all of my parodies, and anyone else's song that I would call a parody, twist the lyrics of exactly one original song — the one whose tune and lyrical structure is used. (Occasionally they'll allude briefly to some other song; e.g. Jane Mailander’s alludes to in its own list of bloodless murder techniques.) “Tribble Gumbo” is a unique exception. It consists almost entirely of allusions, mostly to other filk songs. It's also one of the Lost Songs from the Roundworm CD. If you think you're familiar with classic filk songs, see how many you can find worked into these lyrics, (If you're not, I'd be interested in knowing whether the song seems boring or awkwardly worded without that added dimension.) An interactive version is also available.

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There are tiny little balls of fur that live inside my ship.
“There are tiny little elvin sprites that live inside my walls.” — “Houseguests” , by Larry Warner
They reproduce asexually at quite a lively clip.
When one was bought and beamed aboard, all snuggled close and warm,
“When I was bought and taken home, all snuggled close and warm,” — “Velveteen” , by Kathy Mar
We didn’t know it soon would spawn a thriving tribble swarm.

We organized a tribble drive, and many of the crew
“I organized a blood-drive and got volunteers aplenty.” — “Baby Vampire Boogie” , by Harold Groot
Tried phasers, force fields, tractor beams, and chicken wire and glue.
“We prepared a small surprise with springs and chicken wire and glue.” — “Biotech Fantasy”, by Heather Rose Jones
Our Lady of Communications won a ship-wide bet
“...By getting into Argo’s main communications net.” — “Banned from Argo” , by Leslie Fish
By bagging the most tribbles in a handmade fishing net.

But the tribbles are alive and well.
All hands, Condition Red!
“Miss Piggy’s In the Captain’s Cabin and the Ship’s on Red Alert” — “Miss Piggy’s In the Captain’s Cabin”, by Linda White
They ate my chicken sandwich. Now it’s tribble on rye bread!
“This is my chicken-salad sandwich and coffee!” — “The Trouble with Tribbles (Star Trek episode #42, 1966)” , by David Gerrold
Just when you thought it’s safe to stand beneath a grain bin door,
“Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water...” — “Jaws II [tagline]”
The latest generation goes where none have gone before.
“Star Trek: The Next Generation”
“...To boldly go where no one has gone before.” — “Star Trek”

A gang of Klingons dropped their shields, and this is what we saw:
“A gang of Klingons landed” — “Banned from Argo” , by Leslie Fish
“Then she dropped her shields, and this is what we saw...” — “Dawson’s Christian”, by Duane Elms
A chance to pack our tribbles off, and maybe break the law.
“Pack up your troubles in your old kit pack” — “traditional song”
“Break the Law”, by ?????
We beamed them to that Bird of Prey, which soon was homeward bound.
“Homeward Bound” , by Paul Simon
And little pieces of her crew were all they ever found.
“And little pieces of the man were all they ever found” — “The Cat Came Back”, by traditional

A little after midnight, though, we heard the doctor shout,
“It was just after midnight when we heard the captain shout “... there are rats about!”” — “Swing the Cat”, by Meg Davis
“Beneath the metal decking, there are tribbles still about!”
“Beneath the metal decking, I can hear the engines sigh.” — “Call the Navigator”, by Debra Sanders
We knew the Bird of Prey had carried ours to Klingon space.
“The large birds of prey, they will carry us away.” — “The Birds of Prey March”, by Rudyard Kipling
At first we thought these must be ghosts, like Carmen Whats-her-face.
“Carmen Miranda’s ghost is haunting space station 3” — “Carmen Miranda’s Ghost” , by Leslie Fish
“It’s hard to play the game, when you don’t own a poster of Marilyn — what’s her name?” — “What Kind of Self-Respecting Faggot Am I?” , by Ron Romanovsky

But the tribbles are alive and well.
All hands, Condition Red!
They’re making spooky noises on the floor beneath my bed!
“There’s ... a spooky something making funny noises ’neath my bed.” — “Monsters in the Night”, by Diana Gallagher
Just when you thought it’s safe to stand beneath a grain bin door,
The latest generation goes where none have gone before.

Our engineer is no one’s god, no matter what he’d thought.
“But our engineer is no one’s god” — “Fuel to Feed the Drive”, by Cynthia McQuillin
The guy had seemed to think that every tribble had been caught.
“This guy seems to think that there’s jobs we can’t do.” — “The Engineer”, by Jordin Kare
And when he learned that fools there be who’d failed to find a few,
“And fools they be who fail to see” — “Engineer’s Hymn” , by Rudyard Kipling and Leslie Fish
Our engineer would yield to none at putting down the crew.
“Our engineer would yield to none at putting down the brew.” — “Banned from Argo” , by Leslie Fish

Our cook had made a real hot date to do it on the Moon.
“Do it on the Moon!” — “Eco-Freaks for NASA”, by Leslie Fish
And in his haste he left some dirty forks and knives and spoons.
“Earlier tonight you hurried up to go on your big date. / And in your haste you left a lot of dirty forks and knives and plates.” — “Cockroaches on Parade”, by Waller
The tribbles came and stole the stuff the cook forgot to wash.
But some free-fall tribble gumbo always makes a lovely nosh.
“It’s free-fall Martian stew and chicken gumbo.” — “Asteroid Named Rest Stop”, by Julia Ecklar and Leslie Fish
“I think a lizard-in-a-blanket always makes a lovely nosh” — “I Like Little Firelizards”, by Frank Hayes

But the tribbles are alive and well.
All hands, Condition Red!
My God now here come five of them; how quickly they’ve rebred!
“My God now here come five of you; I’ll bet my name is Mudd!” — “Harry’s Dilemma”, by Larry Warner
Just when you thought it’s safe to stand beneath a grain bin door,
The latest generation goes where none have gone before.

The crew is back together, and I sit here at my post.
“The crew is back together. I sit here in command.” — “Slight Idiosyncrasy”, by Larry Warner
The tribbles now are all forgot, well then again, almost.
“Past troubles now are all forgot ... / ... Well then again, almost.” — “Slight Idiosyncrasy”, by Larry Warner
Transporter beams got scrambled where a nest of them had bred,
“Star Trek: The Motion Picture”
And somewhere down at StarFleet are two men with tribble heads.
“The Fly”

I was sitting on a tribble when the thought occurred to me,
“I was sitting by a river when the thought occurred to me” — “Drink Up the River” , by Kathy Mar
An anti-matter self-destruct would purge them easily.
“Star Trek III: The Search for Spock”
So give me one more ship to sail, a star to guide her to.
“Give me one tall ship to sail, a star to guide her by.” — “The Hero’s Song”, by Julia Ecklar
My God, what have I done? But it was what I had to do.
“My God, what have I done? Was it what I had to do?” — “Fallen Angel”, by Julia Ecklar

But the tribbles are alive and well.
All hands, Condition Red!
They tried to use the airlock, so I gave them Bones instead.
“He tried to eat the padlock, but I fed him nails instead.” — “Stray Dog Man”, by Bill Sutton
If prayers can stir the gods in space where none hear you implore
“What prayer can stir the gods of space...?” — “Fuel to Feed the Drive”, by Cynthia McQuillin
“In space, no one can hear you scream.” — “Alien [tagline]”
Let’s pray next generation makes sure none may pass their door.
“Close by the holy castle stands, where none may pass the door.” — “Horse-tamer’s Daughter” , by Leslie Fish
That's what the bio-filters are for.